Portrait of a Weimaraner

Happy 2nd gotcha day to Ms. Gracie. .

She has taught me so much and I absolutely adore my sleek lap panther.

If I had to liken her to a vehicle it would be a Ford Raptor: she has the agility, sensitivity, and speed of a race car but the brute size and force of a pickup truck. She can slip into the shadows to stalk a bird but will also clumsily ram her 85 pounds of mass into you when she’s feeling goofy. A sharp tone to your voice can get her to slink away to her kennel but she will be deaf to your screams while ripping your shoulder out of its socket if she sees a furry thing run out in front of her on a leash.

I can’t say that I’m surprised she was turned over to CalWEAR.Just like some folks simply can’t handle the expense, intensity, and subtle nuance of a high performance vehicle, Gracie is not the type of dog for everyone.

She will willfully disobey you and murder furry animals in front of your face. Her body will react violently to dog food with chicken and send you to the depths of your bank account’s limits to find a solution to heal her. She will have a minor bad experience with a situation and force you to recondition her to the same situation from scratch. She will simply open closed doors to get near you or to do what she wants (large sliding glass door; heavy front door; indoor bedroom door, only if it’s locked is it unopenable to this dog and even that’s up for debate). If you leave her alone too long, she will seek out something dear to your heart and eviscerate it in the middle of the house for you to see when you get home so that you may atone for your sin. The harder or more expensive to replace the better. She will wake you up by laying on top of your body and stretching her feet out into your face, then casually drag them across some tender piece of exposed flesh, and follow that up with some gentle preening. She will run off to a far corner of your parent’s property only to be found 10 minutes later casually loping back with a large coyote trailing behind.

I’m convinced she basically speaks English and can be trained in milliseconds. She can see a lizard on a wall from 50’ away, never forgets a face and LOVES her people (game over if you’re a man, she loves her men). She has been a fair, firm and patient teacher to our two foster dogs and I never worry about her being aggressive towards other dogs.